I thank God for giving me time here on earth to finally solve the psychology behind “just be yourself.” And I have to give generous thanks to The Hunger Games for finally directing me to the answer.
We all know the female propensity to dispense
unwanted incorrect insulting naive generous advice to their male friends and relatives on dating, almost always along the lines of “just be yourself.” If you have a penis, you most likely figured out a long time time ago how its just plain stupid. BUT- it makes perfect sense if you are perfectly hot, which you will see.
(Spoilers) In The Hunger Games, the main female protagonist, Katniss, is pulled from her low class blue collar subjugation by the government, who has randomly chosen her to fight to the death in their annual bloodsport. The rich and technologically advanced upper class is disconnected from her world by several orders of magnitude: shacks/foraging/hunting game/ wood stoves for survival versus skyscrapers/digital technology/lavish food/space age vehicles. The chance for her to elevate herself to the upper class via winning the bloody game is the metaphoric carrot that is dangled in front of the low class, keeping them docile and subservient.
Once chosen, she gets to experience the rich life for the first time, and is puzzled as how she should act. She is advised that the key to winning the game is to get people to like her; the government has so much pull on the outcome of the game that survival skills- which she readily knows- will not suffice unless she presents a socialized face as well. The game is one big TV show, and the viewers are “just looking for a good performance.”
The movie begins to veer from the underlying psychology at this point: ‘how does she get people to like her’ is never fully answered, because it falls back on the ugly truth: she’s fucking hot. Katniss, in her low class ignorance, thought she would have to do something special to impress the upper class. The movie producers lead us to believe that she is somehow acting and demonstrating special qualities that warrant her eventual success in the game. But the ugly truth is, she isn’t. Her dialogue is banal, her range of emotion is limited. She demonstrates almost zero survival skills (even though we are supposed to believe she is good at it). But Lenny Kravitz, acting as her assigned upper class fashion designer, tells us, “Katniss, all you gotta do is go out there and be yourself.” So, despite her limited personality, she is still portrayed to have potential. Why? Cause she is fucking hot.
Therein is the explanation for “be yourself.” Hot girls have no need to do anything else so long as their personality equates to a wardrobe with low cut shirts (you see Katniss boobies the whole movie). Once a hot girls fashion choices come into line with the skin underneath, usually happening about age 14, problem solved.
Which from personal observation is completely true. All she has to do is muster enough energy to sit in a public place (the student union on my campus is like fish in a barrel) and look pretty. The movie echoes this perfectly: half her time spent in the game is simply her sitting in a tree, looking innocent and in need of rescuing. Eventually some guy will take the very attractive bait and fall hook line and sinker.
How does this get back to men? It is purely feminine advice. First if this is man on man advice, the guy is a fucking idiot and you should respond by telling him “you are a fucking idiot.” But you cannot be so quick to dismiss women telling you this. What it essentially means is that you are cosmetically doing the right thing. You most likely look like a guy that some girl would want. But your actions prove to the girl in front of you that you that you are still not fucking attractive, therefore her lack of attraction that probably prompted the Q&A session to begin with. Do you see how when women receive this advice, the buck stops there at appearances? But when men receive this advice, the buck has to continue to dominant personality?
Let me reiterate the gradient of responses, from cool cat to loser:
“You are such a bastard!” (eyes glistening)——-> “You look beautiful” (your response better be fucking witty) ——–> “Hi.” (you are vanilla.) ———-> “Awww, just be yourself!” (loser)
That’s why “be yourself” is code for cut your losses and move on.
So to conclude, women get to enjoy translating “be yourself” to “you look hot” which usually suffices to find a man. Men have to translate “be yourself” to the next level by continuing to up their looks and doucheing up their attitude.