Ricky Raw writes a lot about narcissism, identifying the narcissist, protecting yourself from narcissists, and the mental machinery that narcissists indulge in to obtain narcissistic supply or to protect their ego. Read his articles and see if you agree with his position on the diabolical nature of narcissism.
The issue I would like to point out is that we invent terms and jargon to classify narcissists and their ilk- but do they really have a medical condition? Is their condition symptomatic, recognizable by a doctor, and treatable with a pill? Is it a chemical imbalance in the brain, able to be balanced with a dose of nutrients or chemicals? Even Ricky believes that there is no cure or fix all for the narcissist’s ego. So if the condition is not medical, not treatable, and not contagious, how is it harmful to other people?
The best answer is that narcissists wield a psychological weapon- rejecting you and destroying your self worth. But for that to even happen, you are complicit with your own relationship with that person. For example, a guy might desire a relationship with a narcissistic hot girl and be willing to ignore warning signs in anticipation of sex. Or the opposite case in which a girl becomes attracted to an alpha type man, idealizing the potential relationship they could have while ignoring the furious competition for him.
I tend to believe that narcissism falls more in line with the handicap principle. Narcissists somehow manage to support themselves and their ego despite their obvious self-centeredness. People hate that they are manipulated and (ego)destroyed by them, so why not avoid narcissists altogether? For some reason, people still want to write about narcissism and talk to narcissists and date narcissists, etc. Maybe its because narcissists can afford to be that way because they are more sexually attractive than most. You can’t knock the narcissists when studies support the dark triad.
Even if not immediately detectable, narcissism still becomes apparent if you are willing to frequently examine the relationship. It makes relationships tough but honest. It requires contingency.
The only alternative is a moral society that discourages self-absorption and punishes narcissism.